The reality is…reality isn’t easy. We have to be flexible all the time. Wary of the changing moods, exhaustion, fun. We have to be watchful that we push our kids, but not too hard. Sometimes all the worrying can cloud our thinking and before you know it, you look at your kid and think, “where did time go?”.

Just the other day, we were having our parent teacher meeting with our eldest daughters teacher. She was describing a child that I felt like I hadn’t yet met. The child she talked about was good. Kind to others, helpful, willing, focused. Things that I work hard to give to my child. When I asked if she ever saw the behavior we see at home she was incredulous. “No!”. “Never!”.

I was dumbfounded. We’ve recently had the opportunity to have our child meet with many adults and teachers in a more clinical/analytical way. Each one described a child that I would only recognize if I squinted and looked very hard. I’ve since spent a lot of time trying to determine what I was missing and I realized that I was missing her growing up. I have gotten so focused on the tasks, on the goal of raising a well -rounded child that I have forgotten to enjoy it along the way.

My daughter is wonderful and generous, kind, smart, and funny and empathetic. She is also a terrible drama queen, unfocused, irrational and mouthy. It took me a while to recognize that my daughter is all of these things. She has somehow learned to show one face to the world and hide the other face for us at home. My baby girl is growing up and I don’t want to miss anymore of it than I already have.

When did you first realize your little one was growing up into a kid you only partially recognized?

So, I decided that I needed to step up my elfing antics.  I’ve been stuck in a rut and to be honest my husband has been moving the elf more often than I.    So, I had the brilliant idea to put the elf on the milk carton in the fridge.

Word to the wise – don’t put your elf on the milk in the fridge.

As every child with an elf knows – you aren’t allowed to touch the elf.  So, try to pour your kids milk (as they watch) and not touch the elf.  Multiple times a day.  Not fun.

It was a good idea…but poorly executed.  Next time I’ll put him around the wine – I don’t pour that while the kids are awake!

During the holiday season reminders about being thoughtful are all around.  Children’s schools have “giving trees”, places of worship ask for donations to local food banks, charity organizations have their annual donation drives, etc.

On the other hand, the holidays are often a time that we talk to our children about “their lists” and thinking about what they want for the holidays.  You can’t go to a store without seeing “presents’ everywhere waiting for little hands to rip open.

So, while the holidays are a great time to think about being thoughtful it is also often one of the hardest times to remind our children about being thoughtful of others and not just themselves.

Luckily, there are many ways to help your children realize how lucky they are and to be thoughtful about those who are not so lucky.  Whether they “adopt a child” collect hats and gloves for needy children, wrap up a present to send to a local children’s hospital or even purchase a present for a local Toy’s for Tot’s box children can learn a lot by choosing special treats for other children.

Whatever you choose to do, teaching your kids about thoughtfulness can’t hurt.  And maybe they’ll even find a way to teach you something about it!

How do you teach your children about thoughtfulness?  Do you have any special programs that your family gives time or energy to?

I went to Babies R’ Us last month to buy a gift for a friend, and was blown away by how much baby products have changed in just a few short years. Like the wedding industry, the baby gear manufacturers look to capitalize on the naivete, sky-high expectations and the extreme emotional significance of this super-sacred moment in people’s lives (or at least capitalize on womens’ passion for shopping). Add to that the scares about drop-side cribs and BPA-laden plastic, and you have a slew of new offerings.

Then of course there are the products that have been designed for problems you did not even know you had! Example: Smartly patterned dribble guards that snap onto your Baby Bjorn and come off for easy washing. I didn’t have those – I just draped a good old burp cloth over the edge of the carrier and went about my business!

I could list a few more but I think you get my drift: new parents can save money by finding homemade alternatives to some of these designer solutions.

There are, however, some products I will be investigating this second time around:

1) Fisher Price Newborn Rock n’ Play Sleeper. More portable than a bouncy seat, and more
comfortable for napping, this seems like a great option for travel. I will never forget the time when my son was an infant and we were visiting with friends who encouraged us to leave him in an upstairs crib while we dined on their deck out back. I did not hear him crying and by the time I checked on him, he had managed to vomit from crying so much. If I had owned this seat, I could have kept him closer by.

2) Nursing Tops – The Next Generation. I am amazed at the variety of blouses with hidden openings for easy access to your breasts… even Old Navy has some in their line, so you don’t have to pay designer prices. I remember being challenged by the limitations of various tops, particularly workplace-appropriate styles. I will definitely give these new-fangled tops a try.

3) Glass Bottles. See above re: BPA plastic. Sure, they make BPA-free bottles but I am still leery of putting plastic in the dishwasher. My husband and I are still haunted by memories of scrubbing bottles by hand. If I can put something in the dishwasher, I am all for it.

What newborn and infant products have you found indispensable?

Every year I promise myself that this is the year that I will get our family holiday cards out on time and that they will be gorgeous!  I haven’t done it yet.  Either the cards aren’t on time or I’ve settled for a less than perfect card.

Not this year!  This year, Tiny Prints is saving my back-side.  A few weeks ago I joined Kelly and Julie from Just Centsible for a night out of fun.  During the evening, Kelly and Julie introduced us to the new Tiny Prints holiday collection of cards.  After I stopped drooling, I decided that this was the year that I was going to get the cards right.

After looking through the Tiny Prints collection both in-person and on-line, I found some favorites:

Merry Intent

Joyful Highlights

One of these is it.  The card that will finally allow me to feel as if I was successful at hitting that holiday card goal.  Not only are these cards perfect but they will allow me to use a great full screen photo.  So, I’m going to use the tips that Ryan Estes gave me and get some great photos of the kids.  Then, I’ll get those cards in the mail (on time this year)!

I’ve been in love with Tiny Prints for years – their cards are just my style and the quality is amazing.  They use real card stock and have great designs.  If you’re looking for a great holiday card try them out!

Disclosure: I am receiving holiday cards in exchange for this post.  All thoughts, ideas and comments are my own.

Choosing an obstetrician is the fist step in good prenatal care. For many of you, you are already going to an Ob/Gyn practice that you trust will accommodate you and your needs during your pregnancy. For some of you, you may wish to change providers. And, for some of you, you might need a new provider all together.

The good news is that choosing an obstetrician is not nearly as difficult as choosing your partner. But before you choose an obstetritician, there are a few questions you should ask yourself:

What kind of practice do you want?

Do you want a practice with a lot of providers or just a few? If you choose a practice with a lot of providers, know that you may not be able to choose who delivers your baby. Practices with many providers usually like their pregnant patients to meet all the providers. Conversely, if you shoose a prctice with few providres, you may get to know each physcian better because you aren’t seeing as many as you would in a larger practice.

What kind of qualities do you want your doctor to have?

Do you like a straight-forward type of relationship, or do you prefer someone who has more of a conversational style? Some patients prefer a doctor who will “tell it like it is” while others prefer someone who will relay the information in an easy and informal manor. There is no wrong or right here, each person has different preferences.

What kind of patient are you?

With what hospital is your physician affiliated?

This is particularly important if you want to deliver at a specific hospital. Some patients choose the facility over the physician. If you choose the facility first, you might be able to ask for recommendations. This is often the case for women who are new to the area in which they live.

Who do you want to deliver your baby? A midwife? Doctor? Do you want your doctor to be a DO or a MD? Do you want a doula in the room?

A midwife is a person who provides care to women during normal pregnancies. They need to call on obstetricians or other physicians if complications develop. Midwifery is a professionally regulated field.

Both MDs and DOs go through the same training, rotations and fellowships. The differences lie in their approaches to medicine. MDs traditionally practice with medicine, while DOs may include alternative therapies, treatments and approaches to medical care.

A doula is a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period. A birth doula certified by DONA International is designated by the initials CD(DONA).

What type of delivery do you want?

If you definitely want a water birth, for example, find a provider who will accommodate your requests. Know what your limitations (if any) will be by the provider or facility where you deliver.

Does the doctor have recommendations?

Find other women who go to the practice, and ask if they would recommend the practice. Ask your friends, family members or co-workers.

Choosing an obstetrician is not a difficult task if you know what you want from your pregnnancy and delivery experience. Also, it’s perfectly fine to switch physicians during your pregnancy if something should arise with the practice or your provider.

You are the best judge in choosing what’s best for you. Don’t hesitate to be an advocate for the kind of care you want and deserve during this special time in your life.

Dr. Richichi BIO

Dr. Joann Richichi is a board-certified OB/GYN practicing in Southern New Jersey. She received her undergraduate degree at Wagner College in New York, and graduated from the College of Osteopathic Medicine of the Pacific in California in 1984. She completed her residency in Obstetrics and Gynecology at Kennedy Memorial Hospital in New Jersey, where she served as Chief Resident.

Dr. Richichi is a licensed bioidentical hormone replacement therapy provider in South Jersey. She’s authored several articles in Obstetrics and Gynecology Literature and published a book called Nine Months To Go, What You Need To Know, a comprehensive and light hearted countdown from preconception through postpartum.

Dr. Richichi blogs about women’s health, and you can follow her on Twitter for women’s health conversation, and articles about women’s health.

As kids grow up they leave many things behind them.  Diapers, cuddling time, sitting still and a lot of clothing!  Just recently I spent an entire afternoon cleaning out the kids closets and sorting clothes by season and style.  I packed them all up in to plastic totes and shoved them into our storage area.  It took me a long time to get through their clothing and doing it brought up memories of seeing them in the most special of outfits.  In the end though, I was left with boxes of clothes that they can’t wear anymore.

*Photo Credit: http://truthseekerblog.com/

There are many options to get rid of your kids clothes that doesn’t involve throwing them out. We’ve outlined four great ways to get the clothes out of your house, help you feel less cluttered, make some money and do good for others.

Consignment Stores:

Local consignment stores can help you sell your clothing to other parents.  The basic premise of a consignment store is that you bring your clothes in, they inspect them and choose the items that will sell for their store and they pay you a percentage of what the item sells for.  (percentages vary by store – be sure to confirm the sales percentage before you consign).  It’s important to make sure that the store you are using matches your demographic or else the clothing may not sell.  Consignment stores are great for people who like to get clothing out of their house on a regular basis.  Some great local consignment stores to check out are: As They Grow, Butterflies and Bullfrogs Children’s Consignment Boutique, Kid to Kid, and Plato’s Closet.

Consignment Sales:

Consignment sales are another great way to make money off of the clothes that you’ve bought and no longer need.  Consignment sales typically occur at the start of a season and most established sales occur 2 times per year.  Consignment sales typically pay the seller a higher percentage of the sale price than consignment stores, however, they are not available on a daily basis like a consignment store.  Some great local sales to check out are: Just Between Friends, Main Line Mom’s of Multiples Sale, Main Line Mom’s Spring Consignment Sale.and Valley Forge Mother’s of Twins and Triplets.

Cradles to Crayons:

Cradles to Crayons is a great local non-profit serving homeless and low-income children in the Philadelphia region.  Their mission is to: “provide homeless and low-income children with the essentials they require to thrive – to feel safe, warm, ready to learn, and valued.”  C to C has a local warehouse in Conshohcken where they accept donations.  To learn more about donating clothing and other items visit their donation page.

Goodwill:

Goodwill still accepts clothing donations at their local drop-off locations.  If you want to get rid of your kids clothing they are a great option.  They have local drop-off locations in Exton, Berwyn, Swathmore and ChaddsFord to name a few.

Whatever you choose, your kids clothes can have a second, third or even fourth life.  And if they aren’t worthy of sale or donation you can always tear them up for dusting rags!

1. What is the best way to prepare kids for a photo shoot?

Getting kids ready to have their pictures taken can really make or break a shoot.  Apart from the obvious (how you’ll dress them, making sure their hair is combed, etc.), one of the most important things is to make sure they’re rested.  Portrait sessions can be pretty high-energy, and making sure your kids have gotten plenty of sleep is important.  Taking your kids’ usual daily rhythms into consideration when planning the time for your shoot is a great idea.

Face painting is a real art.  Face painting on children requires not only artistic skills but also a level of patience and capability that not a lot of people have.  Stacey’s Face Painting team does.

The team uses non-toxic paints and train by painting faces at the Philadelphia Zoo. Every artist that the kids have had paint their faces have been personable, professional and FAST!  Here are some photos of the most recent work they did for us.

If you are looking for a fun activity for a party or event, check them out.

I’m a fan of self-expression. My best friend thorough high school loved changing her hair color. She did it so often it became a joke during slide shows – how many hair colors could you count. I’m also a fan of tattoos (on other people). While I don’t have any, I understand the desire to have art on your body – especially when it has personal meaning for you.

But Barbie? When I think of Barbie, one work I think of is pristine. She has always had the same look and feel. Mattel has worked hard at keeping her on brand (so to say). So I find this fascinating. Mattel has allowed Barbie to change her brand. To change how parents see her and to add to her diversity.

I’ve never talked with my kids about tattoos and hair dye, but someday the conversation will come up. I’m not sure I’ll pull out a tatted up Barbie doll to focus the conversation, but hey – at least it is an option.

I know some parents are excited by this new version of Barbie, but I’ve never considered this inanimate object to be a role model for my kids.  While I prefer that my girls stay away from the ink I don’t view tattoos negatively – I simply don’t have a desire for one.

What about you?  Are you offended?  If they were widely available would pick one up for your child?